The Clashes: what chance a revival?

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CAN England recover from three humiliating Test defeats and the controversy that has accompanied Graeme Swann's sudden retirement? News Corp Australia chief cricket writer Malcolm Conn previews the Boxing Day Test with his counterpart from The Sun, John Etheridge.

Malcolm Conn: Graeme Swann's retirement is the latest drama in a shambolic tour for England. What's going on with your lot?

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John Etheridge: Now that England are 3-0 down, he decided it was time for someone else to have their chance. And also I think his elbow is causing a lot of discomfort, particularly when he bowls long spells. That was part of his decision as well. He can't apply the same number of revs to the ball as he used to, so it's time to go. One thing you can say about Graeme Swann, he's certainly funnier than any of the Australian players.

MC: Well I must say I'm going to miss him dreadfully, not only for the way he bowled in the Perth Test when Shane Watson got after him but also because he gives the best press conferences in world cricket. He is a genuinely funny guy and I hope he goes into the cricket media or somewhere similar where we can see some of his best attributes. I thoroughly enjoyed his press conferences and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing him smacked all over the WACA.

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JE: He did jovially say his last ball in Test cricket was hit about 120 metres by Shane Watson and indeed his final over went for 22, but he'll have a career in TV or the media. He'll be on Strictly Come Dancing type programmes and I'm sure he'll do some cricket commentary too. Behind the jocular exterior he's got a very sharp cricket brain; probably the best brain in the England team. He'll be missed for his bowling, his catching at second slip, and also for his character.

MC: It's a remarkable career. I think he played for five years and took 255 Test wickets. He came into the game fairly late and had a fair bit of success.

JE: He played in the one-day team back in 2000, and it didn't go well, he was only 20 years old. He kept missing the team bus and didn't create much of an impression. Duncan Fletcher banished him to the sidelines and he didn't reappear for more than seven years. When he did come back, his entire Test career was condensed into just five years - he took 255 wickets and no other bowler in the world took more Test wickets in that time than Graeme Swann. He's an orthodox spin bowler who's won matches with no doosra, no wrong-un, no carrom ball, and bowling with a straight arm as well.

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MC: An old-fashioned off spinner.

JE: Anyway Mal, it's all nicely poised isn't at 3-3 in the 10-match series. You can't get more exciting than that!

MC: Your juggernaut's rolling along beautifully isn't it? Or I should say bumping along. How many changes are you going to make this Test? Swann will be replaced by Monty Panesar. Stuart Broad's on one leg, he won't play, so you'll pick that Irish one day bowler Boyd Rankin I imagine, and then young Jonny Bairstow is doing all the keeping drills at training, so he'll come in instead of Matt Prior. You'll be missing a quarter of your side going into Melbourne.

JE: I don't want to give away a secret plan, but if five or six more players retire or get injured we won't have enough players to make up a team and the game will be cancelled - that would be quite good, wouldn't it?

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MC: I guess the one great achievement for England is instead of relying on South Africans the New Zealand-born Ben Stokes actually played very well in Perth. I guess that's some sort of beacon amongst the rubble.

JE: He was very impressive in his second Test match. An allrounder who can score Test hundreds and bowl at 140km/h. Sounds like the sort of cricketer that Shane Watson's always dreamed of being!

MC: Shane Watson's coming up to his 50th Test. The way he's launched into it in Perth, the next 50 will probably be much more fulfilling than the first 50, particularly if they keep playing England. Peter Siddle's also playing his 50th Test match and that will be quite exciting considering Kevin Pietersen's playing again.

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JE: Siddle's effectively played on KP's ego and dried up his runs and just eventually Pietersen can resist no longer and he makes a mistake. He's given his wicket away four or five times in this series already. One would hope there'll be a big Boxing Day crowd, the Boxing Day Test is one of the highlights of the sporting calendar. With 90,000 people there you'd hope the likes of Pietersen will be inspired by the occasion.

MC: Should we read Kevin Pietersen's name in brackets when Graeme Swann had a swipe at at least one, if not more, of his teammates?

JE: Graeme Swann is perturbed that one or two players have disappeared up their own backsides and cricket's got a habit of biting people on the arse, and he hopes that when that happens those people will be very embarrassed by their conduct. What he didn't do is specify which players he meant, he refused to name names and indeed didn't specify which country the players came from, so it might be that he was talking about Australians.