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CAMERON Smith is not the best hooker in rugby league this year.
Apparently, Issac Luke is.
The Issac Luke who plays for South Sydney . . . the one with the cannonball tackles and a dangerous dummy-half runner.
The one who had a shocker in the preliminary final.
And Johnathan Thurston isn't the best five-eighth in the world either.
No, that's Danny Brough, who plays five-eighth for Huddersfield and Scotland.
Those are two of the gems from voting in the team of the year for the Rugby League International Federation awards, presented in England this week.
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The RLIF website does not identify who votes for these awards or which parallel universe they hail from.
Wikipedia is on the case, though, and it reckons the awards are voted upon by journalists, broadcasters and ex-players drawn from both hemispheres.
It says nothing about outer space, from where it is just possible there might be lifeforms acquainted with rugby league who think that Luke had a better season than Smith, that the Kiwi No.9 has a snowball's chance in hell of ever being as good as the Storm and Australian hooker.
This is like having an award for the best fast bowler in history to have taken 350 or more Test wickets while having a moustache and not giving it to Dennis Lillee.
Or a prize for who makes kids happiest at Christmas and Santa Claus has to sit in the audience with a fixed smile as someone else gets up to say he hadn't prepared a speech, but gosh what a honour . . .
Even allowing for Melbourne's crash and burn in the finals, Smith is the best hooker in the game.
He just is.
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These awards of the RLIF, put together in 2004 from the ashes of the previous federation, are a good idea in fostering the game internationally.
But they are held up to ridicule if they can't come up with a simple task like saying the best hooker this year was the dark-haired bloke who plays for Melbourne, Queensland and Australia.
League people are used to international awards being ridiculous. The Golden Boot award, presented annually by an English league magazine, used to have thigh slappers some years.
Now it's presented by another English league magazine.
And brace yourself for this one: last year they reckoned Leeds lock Kevin Sinfield was the best player in the world.
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